You know that feeling – when you’re perturbed, unsettled, not sure what steps to take next? This article is about that feeling.

In a recent conversation we discussed that people often repeat the same mistakes and get caught in familiar patterns without realizing it. Have you ever noticed yourself making the same poor decisions, reacting in the same way, and wondering why things aren’t changing? This is particularly relevant for us as learning and development consultants as our work revolves around change. Sometimes before a transition, people sit in a liminal space. This in-between phase can feel like being stuck, a frustrating state where no progress seems to happen.

Stuckness is a state in which it seems there is no forward movement or progress. Stuckness may actually be characterised by a lot of action but without the expected progress. Stuckness is often a period of great anxiety, uncertainty, ambiguity, disorientation all of which can contribute to feelings that are unsettling. We can be stuck in unhealthy relationships which become lifeless, draining and unfulfilling. We can also be stuck in cycles of unproductive and unfulfilling work. For example, picture a software developer working on a bug in a codebase. They have tried many approaches but each leads to a dead end. They’re trapped in a cycle of trial and error, struggling to find a way out. This is an example of stuckness where the developer may not know how to break the pattern as they are working in a similar cycle. A new perspective is needed but they keep on repeating related actions. This is a stage where many people give up but this liminal space is essential as it precedes understanding and learning. This stuckness could be cognitive, relational, emotional, and/or environmental and yet, it is also a crucial precursor to learning and growth. When work teams are stuck, they can be caught up in unhealthy triangulation processes for example in copying into emails people who are not even involved in the matter. Another symptom of a stuck team is where name dropping becomes the way to manage difficult conversations.

The best metaphor to describe stuckness is to imagine you are driving your car on a muddy track. Your tyres sink into the mud, so you instinctively hit the accelerator. But instead of moving forward, the tyres spin and dig deeper, trapping you even more. This is a form of being blind to your own blindness. Consequently, when a person fails, instead of trying a new strategy, our default response is often to do more of the same. Instead of shifting our strategy, we double down on old habits, falling further into familiar patterns and a state of stuckness.

One coping mechanism that we encourage in our workshops is to pause and make time and space for self-reflection. This enables awareness of interconnectedness so that we may adjust and not just do what we have always done. As we are often so busy doing and are rewarded for taking action, we frequently forget to pause and sit in a liminal space. Occupying the liminal space requires patience but this is easier said than done. The ideal is to embrace the discomfort and start to feel comfortable in the uncomfortableness by adopting the following steps:

1. Reframe the problem: A helpful question to ask is ‘what in my current way of thinking is keeping me stuck?’

2. Change your environment: A change of scenery can spark fresh ideas.

3. Embrace a Growth Mindset: See the challenge as an opportunity to grow and learn rather than blame the situation or other people.

4. Collaborate with others: Discuss your challenge with others, as reflecting in a community can help identify blind spots.

5. Journal: Write about what has taken place, what you learnt from it and how you can move forward.

Stuckness is not the end, it is an indication to step back and rethink your approach. By including these practical steps into your life it helps navigate the discomfort of stuckness so that you gain the skills necessary to navigate uncertainties. So, the next time you find yourself spinning your wheels in the mud, don’t accelerate harder—step back, take a breath, and consider a new way forward.